Wrestling with Jacob

A journal of faith, grief and devotional musings

grief

  • A Christmas confession

    I am struggling with holiday depression. I feel its heavy pull today so I write with the reins in hand pulling back hard to keep me from writing too deep into the darkness I feel. All is well and good in my life and yet my soul is cast down- and so it goes, no reason to be sullen but Read more

  • Cherishing the chair

    In 1987 Mr. Lynch was my future wife’s high school chemistry teacher. He once said to me “Someday, she is going to make somebody a good wife.” Mr. Lynch was right but I would add after 28 years of marriage that she has been much more than a good wife. She is an excellent wife, Read more

  • Four family deaths and the burial of three loved ones on the same day did something to me that only those closest to me have witnessed. Today I want to reveal it to everybody. The death of Jacob has doused many passions I once enjoyed and involved myself in life. Like a bucket of water thrown on a campfire Read more

  • Grief withdrawals

    It is 3:45 AM and I can’t sleep again. At least this time I wasn’t awakened by night terrors. Stress seems to trigger certain things in grief like restlessness and nightmares. There is a veiled part of grief that I carry that most do not see or recognize. I am struggling with it greatly at Read more

  • The face of addiction

    Overdose. What does that word conjure up in your mind? Put a face to the word overdose and who do you see? I know what it means for me because that is how my son and nephew died. Just ten months apart Justin overdosed on heroin and Jacob overdosed on prescription meds. I have asked myself Read more