Wrestling with Jacob

A journal of faith, grief and devotional musings

grief

  • Faith under fire

    I rarely allow my mind to recall the events surrounding the worst day of our married life. The day our son died. Today I will go there with the hope that somebody needs to hear this message and might be helped by telling it. I sat alone on the open staircase with a house full… Read more

  • Ten years ago today Jacob Michael Fekete, my son, lived his last day among us. Wow, a decade has passed and I can say it’s been an education I wouldn’t wish on anyone. What I have learned I’ve tried to communicate as best I can by writing. Words have their limitations however to express what… Read more

  • Why? What’s the point?

    It’s approaching 10 years since our son Jacob died. “Feels like a lifetime ago and only yesterday” Stacey commented the other day. Hardship and suffering comes to all. There are no exemptions. Trouble leaves our broken world with questions like, why? What is the point of all this pain? Apart from faith those questions are… Read more

  • Silently singing

    I don’t sing in church. I am a Christian anomaly I think. I rarely tune in to music though I enjoy it. I appreciate hymns and worship music and understand their importance but I am rarely openly engaged in any song. I used to sing a little. Then Jake died and with him died his… Read more

  • A Prescription for Peace Someone was choking me. It felt as though a sandbag was placed on my chest. I sensed an evil presence and this lasted many months after my son Jacob died. I’d wake up screaming from my sleep and was afraid to return to my sleep. I was not at peace. I… Read more