Wrestling with Jacob

A journal of faith, grief and devotional musings

peace

  • A comforting sign

    It is Easter Sunday morning and I have been awake since 4:30. I sip on my coffee in the silence with this Mac on my lap as I listen to a robin sing outside my window. I ponder what life would be like if the birds hushed their singing. What a wonderful grace this is Read more

  • Best wishes

    Our beloved Jacob Michael Fekete would be 25 today. In my minds eye I see 25 imaginary candles on a make believe cake that will never be baked. 25 imaginary flickering flames to blow upon, to extinguish and to wish on better things. I remember your hopes, I remember your dreams son. I remember with a heavy Read more

  • Every rose has its thorn

    Grief still lingers. I suppose that many around me that know the story of the loss of our son, and 3 other loved ones are happy for us when good and positive blessings happen in our lives. We get all the smiles, congratulations and pats on the back and all the while grief still lingers Read more

  • In our journey with grief my wife and I have not used medications as a means of coping with the pain. It wasn’t long after Jacob’s death that I went for my annual physical and I told my doctor that I just preferred to deal with everything head on without drugs. Grief is warfare and I battle its symptoms daily. Read more

  • Death benefits: part 1

    A musing We received “death benefits” from 2 small insurance policies after my son Jacob died. The money was something we were really uncomfortable keeping around for too long. So we used it quickly by paying for a funeral, a wedding, a vacation and a few other miscellaneous things.   To be honest, we were glad when Read more