Wrestling with Jacob

A journal of faith, grief and devotional musings

grief

  • Hope in hard times

    Its been nearly 5 years since my son died. The three anchors that have moored me in the most difficult days are faith, hope and love. Heartache and hardships truly test the validity of these three foundational Christian principles. I have found that it is impossible to destroy these three things. The ship may be… Read more

  • Anymore till evermore

    I don’t hurt the same way at Christmas anymore. I don’t dread the holiday season anymore. I don’t desire to isolate myself at this time of year anymore. This is Christmas number five since my son left this life. There was a time when I felt the heaviness would always return at this time of… Read more

  • Life for us got derailed a little more than four years ago. The wreckage was overwhelming and seemed as though repairing life and getting back on track could never happen. Thankfully it does. Lately I feel like I have finally come to accept life without Jake. I spoke with a 30 year  club member the… Read more

  • Seasons of silence

    My wife had her heart set on a pretty dress she found last Friday but didn’t buy it. She mentioned it to me and I thought it would make her a great early birthday gift. We decided to go the next morning and left for the local Saint Patrick’s day activities. Saturday morning we walked… Read more

  • Life is difficult. Doing life while grieving is extremely difficult. There are coping mechanisms that I have used consciously and unconsciously to deflect and protect myself from unwanted pain. Since our son Jacob died many times it has felt as though we have been at our emotional limits. There is a coping mechanism, a shield, or a… Read more