I don’t hurt the same way at Christmas anymore.
I don’t dread the holiday season anymore.
I don’t desire to isolate myself at this time of year anymore.
This is Christmas number five since my son left this life. There was a time when I felt the heaviness would always return at this time of year. It doesn’t anymore. Grief continues but it has changed very much over time. Time is a friendly healing balm that the bereaved use daily to close the wounds and soften the scars.
We don’t leave the Christmas decorations in storage anymore. We do not choose to work on the holidays anymore. The spirit of the season has been given new life to us with the birth of our first grandchild.
Holiday seasons changed suddenly to heartache five years ago and each passing year it morphs again. I am not in constant pain at this time of year anymore. The dull ache continues but the stabbing pains have become infrequent and short-lived when they visit my soul. Pain doesn’t dominate my life this time of year anymore.
This Christmas season I have embraced with open arms. It was once intolerable, it became tolerated but now has new welcomed traditions.
I empathize with the bereaved especially at this time of year. It’s so hard to endure. I thought the day would never come where “anymore” would be in my vocabulary. But it is and I am very pleased to use it.
Anymore has become one of the greatest gifts of the Christmas season. But there is something eternally better on the horizon. Anymore will become evermore.
Assured eternal hope is better than the temporary comforts of all my “anymores.” Hope changes everything because someday the journey will be complete, the pain will cease and there will be no more tears. Anymore!
“God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4
Live in evermore hope my friends and enjoy the anymore steps in your journey with grief. Grace and peace to you all this holiday season.
Wrestling with Jacob 
That is so beautiful written mike and I am so glad that I clicked on the link to read it. It gives me some hope that as time goes by I too will be able to find some healing and comfort. I know that time will not heal all the wounds nor would I want them to because if you truly love someone that you have lost there’s no way you can heal totally as that person is always gonna be in your heart your thoughts your soul and cherished memories I can not imagine what it is like to lose a child but I have a feeling it is pretty close to what I am feeling over the loss of my wife Michelle. Thank you for reaching out to me during this incredibly difficult time in my life Thank you for the messages. The thoughts and prayers and just being a friend. It has been very much appreciated. Thank you my friend. Merry Christmas.
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