Wrestling with Jacob

A journal of faith, grief and devotional musings

  • killing the envy in grief

    There is the ugly side of me that awakened within my spirit when my son died. He is the true me, the dark side of me that was unearthed by four deaths in my family. He has always lived within me, though in the shadows and always lurking in the dark and in the secret… Read more

  • Tomorrow’s lie

    Life is short. We know it all too well, it passes us by as quickly as the morning fog lifts off our favorite lake. Life is certainly just a vapor, it comes then it goes as fast as it arrived. I am in mid life, I turned 47 last week but am I really in… Read more

  • Does God really care about our grief?

    And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more,… Read more

  • A mother’s grief as seen through a father’s eyes

    One year ago today our mother, Linda Philo, left her earthly home and family to join her family in her heavenly home, she was 66 when she died. There were five generations of women in my home on mother’s day 2012. I remember that day very clearly because it was the last time these devoted moms… Read more

  • A time to mourn and a time to dance

    I will be giving my only daughter (Jordan) away in marriage in a few weeks. We are so happy for them and it does my heart good to see her beautiful smile of anticipation for the wedding. Jordan lost her brother and grandmother 6 weeks apart about this time last year. In her deep grief I remember… Read more