Wrestling with Jacob

A journal of faith, grief and devotional musings

grief

  • My life, my wife, my treasure

    It was early 1987 when I moved back home to Michigan after a 3 year stay in Virginia. I was 18, she was 17 and a senior in high school when we met. There was a quick connection a short courtship and then we were engaged later that year. She finished beauty school and we… Read more

  • Silently now I wait for you

    I have my MacPro on my lap, I am contemplating many things as I silently sit here. I hear the fridge and a faint ring in my ear and the tap, tap, tap, of the keys. I used to like quietness, but I do not like the quietness that I am hearing these days. It… Read more

  • Jacob’s sunflower: An allegory of life

    Shortly before Jacob died he posted on Facebook his plans to plant a garden behind our home. I am not too sure what gave him this desire, he really wasn’t the green thumb type. Perhaps some of his mothers interests were starting to bloom within him. Stacey loves flowers and works in her labor of love… Read more

  • Smiles of sadness; A letter to my deceased son

    Dear Jacob, I have been especially weepy and sad lately. There is a sadness that is with me that dampens my life like a misty morning walk. I think about the family allot, especially you son; mostly of you Jacob. I want to be happy, I laugh and smile on my journey but I have… Read more

  • ? Why grievers stay busy !

    How are you doing since your loved one died? I have been taking notice in talking with people who are in grief or in emotional trauma as to what their standard response is to this question. O, they say, “I am staying busy.” I have been considering this response by people for some time now. I am no psychologist… Read more