I began this blog at the encouragement of a good friend. I recently passed the one year mark of blogging my experience through the eyes of faith. It has been my desire to show how the bible, Jesus, and my experiences are working together for healing and the greater good in my life. I also desire that others have found hope and a measure of comfort in their sorrows. Not because of me, or my experience or even because of what I write but in the God who heals the brokenhearted.
“Now may the Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.” (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)
I have not written, nor will not write just for the sake of writing. I feel it’s important to only write out of my experience and not to waste words on things that have not helped my faith. My hope is that my story of faith will encourage others in similar life experiences. I suppose writing ministers to me but I mostly hope that it will minister to someone else.
In this journey with grief I have tried to capture in words my experiences and feelings as they connect to Jesus and my faith in him. In the infancy of my grief experience it was all new and there was much to learn about therefore writing came easy. Again, I never want to write just to write so I have just learned to be patient and wait. In the waiting room I am living life and life brings me new experiences. I take those experiences and pour them through the filter of the bible and I come to understand the truth. My experience is not the truth, it is subjective and is not always trustworthy. Right now my life is quite uneventful, I am resting in peace and for that I am glad because December was rough.
Lately I feel like the ink well is drying up and have considered ending the blog. That is good in many ways because it tells me that I am healing and grief is not the dominate emotion and experience for me as it once was. However, reality tells me that grief will follow me all the days of my life. Therefore the blog will likely never end. I love my son, I think of him daily and I have accepted that grief is as permanant as a birth mark.
I have an ugly life partner named grief and it’s certain that our romance will not be over until death do us part. She sleeps at the moment but I know that she still lives and will awaken my heart to the pain once again. I am thankful for the times she rests because in those times I also find rest from her nagging voice.
I have such a short memory. I struggled during the holidays and I feel I am doing OK at the moment and I forget that there is more to come. I remind myself that March is coming and Jake’s birthday and a death day are on the horizon. I have a hunch that my sleeping companion will be awakened soon. I have a hunch that the inkwell will be refilled and the stylus will be taken in my hand to communicate the words buried within me. There will be new experiences, there is more for Jesus to teach me, the story has really just begun and future pages will reveal the wisdom I have gleaned from him.
Life is full of unrest, like a bird seeking her nest we flutter through life wanting to rest in peace. We lite here and we lite there but we never find peace, rest eludes us as we grow more and more weary of the flight. We need only to go home to the only sanctuary of true rest in this life. Jesus beacons us home to the safety and warmth found under his wings. We seek places that offer peace but discover they can never provide the rest we seek. Is it possible to rest in peace before we are laid to rest, if so, how is that possible?
First we need to understand that there can never be peace without the presence of righteousness. They are two peas in the same pod. “And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.” (Isaiah 32:17)
Second, we all fall way short of perfect righteousness so we can never find perfect peace within ourselves. Actually, peace is accomplished by a historical event “For our sake he (God) made him (Jesus) to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of Christ in him.” (2 Corinthians 5:21, Isaiah 53:4-5) Jesus takes our sin and punishment and we receive by grace his righteousness by faith in him. By faith in Jesus I received “A peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:17) when I believed in the righteousness of Jesus and chucked my own. “For he himself is our peace! (Ephesians 2:14)
Grace is a difficult pill to swallow for many people, but without grace we could never rest in peace. Jesus said that there is only one who is good, that is God. That excludes all of mankind from the equation, this is why we need mercy and grace. This is why Paul would begin his letters by saying, “Grace and peace from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ.” Grace always comes first and peace follows behind. Peace is a work of God accomplished through grace which is only received by faith.
Its offensive to most people to consider the fact that we are totally bad and no part good apart from the righteousness that God provides in his Son. Pride says I’m not so bad but God says your not good at all. But for those who humble themselves and trust in grace alone, in Christ alone, through faith alone peace is the result of his gift of righteousness. “But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy..” (Titus 3:4-5a)
I am resting in peace, I am resting in grace. I trust what he did that I could never do for myself and the result is rest for my weary soul. The Price of Peace offers grace, mercy and peace to you in the same way, receive it freely by faith. He says to you and I, “Come unto me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart…
…and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”-Jesus