Wrestling with Jacob

A journal of faith, grief and devotional musings

grief

  • When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Somehow I think the person who coined that phrase never lost a child. In concept I get it but in reality the lemonade is just as bitter as the lemons. Oh sure, it can be watered down and sweetened with artificial sweeteners but it is still sour. It Read more

  • A fear of forgetting I was afraid that I would forget my son. I was afraid that I would not remember the sound of his voice, the smell of his clothes and gait of his steps. A strange and unfamiliar fear overtook me in the first hours, days and weeks after his death. I have Read more

  • It was early 1987 when I moved back home to Michigan after a 3 year stay in Virginia. I was 18, she was 17 and a senior in high school when we met. There was a quick connection a short courtship and then we were engaged later that year. She finished beauty school and we Read more

  • I have my MacPro on my lap, I am contemplating many things as I silently sit here. I hear the fridge and a faint ring in my ear and the tap, tap, tap, of the keys. I used to like quietness, but I do not like the quietness that I am hearing these days. It Read more

  • Shortly before Jacob died he posted on Facebook his plans to plant a garden behind our home. I am not too sure what gave him this desire, he really wasn’t the green thumb type. Perhaps some of his mothers interests were starting to bloom within him. Stacey loves flowers and works in her labor of love Read more